If you've been offered a promotion that seems too good to be true, chances are it is. And chances are your long-serving colleagues will be looking secretly relieved, as if they're off some strange and unpleasant hook. It's the kind of trick that deeply sinister companies like H.W. Wells & Co. pull all the time. Especially with employees who are too busy mooning over the office intern to think about what they're getting into. And it's why, right about now, Paul Carpenter is wishing he'd paid much less attention to the gorgeous Melze, and rather more to a little bit of job description small-print referring to 'pest' control.